A dear friend over at Burlesque Beat just told me he was thinking of submitting some recipes that are the result of his “quest to become the king of breakfast”. This got me thinking, who is the King of Breakfast?
I really enjoy breakfast. Especially since my lifestyle provides me with a schedule that allows me to really savor it. I’m not typically in a rush in the a.m. Don’t have to run out and commute or anything. In fact, my commute is a 40 foot walk down the hall to the living room. So the most important meal of the day is also one that I can really make into a ritual.
Understanding the slinky pace with which I approach the morning and the heavy weight I place on breakfasty awesomeness, it’s easy to see why this concept of King of Breakfast would intrigue me. Would I be in the running for this monarchy? Or should I open it up as some sort of CookingForStrippers version of a Bobby Flay-Down? After wrestling with the concept for at least two seconds the latter won. I’m going to host the first ever CookingForStrippers King of Breakfast Flay-Down.
Now before you go getting all politically correct, gender jerkhole on me remember, I’m not the one who said it – J.D. did. Direct all hate mail here – he’s a snarky boy, he can take it. I’m just the one perpetuating the patriarchal lineage of all crowned heads of fast breaking. But if you must be all post-post-modern liquid genderific then just be a king. Claim the throne weather you were born with penis parts or not. All I’m saying is King can be whatever. Breakfast cannot. If you want to Flay-Down your dish must be breakfasty. Got it? You don’t have to be a bio-dude-identifying-manslice but you do have to make breakfast.
Here’s what you do:
Submit a breakfast recipe. (Only one per customer, por favor)
- mL’ and I will pick a day, invite the Chicago Starlets over for brunch where we will have made the recipes that appealed most to us. Recipes that are accompanied by sexy photographs of food, strippers or both will be shown favoritism.
- The Chicago Starlets will choose a favorite based on some arbitrary system that we’re likely to come up with on the spot. It’s probably not going to be fair and we’re not going to hire Ernst&Young to tally the results. If we get our shit together, we might videotape (tape?) the proceedings. If not, we’ll at least have someone snap an Hipstagram of it to post to Facebook. Whatever the case, we’ll have some sort of results ceremony right here on this site.
- The winner will receive, as our little coronation, a CookingForStrippers apron denoting them as “King of Breakfast 2012″ (or whatever year it is, as I’m likely just to copy and paste this for subsequent years).
- Deadline for submission is July 1st, 2012. No entries received after midnight on July 1st will be considered. All contestants must have some direct affiliation with strippers (burlesque dancer, burlesque husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend etc). If you have questions about your eligibility, ask. I know a guy with the answers. Compliance with all our regular TERMS is a must.
- Did I leave anything out? Probably. Oh yeah, rules subject to change at the unruly whim of myself.