My lovely wife made alfredo bacon pizza for my induction into the “men of a certain age” club. Alfredo bacon pizza AND a trophy wife? How am i supposed to have a midlife crisis when my midlife rocks?
by Franky Vividn. a decadent preparation of bacon, wherein it has been coated in taco seasoning and baked in the oven.
Inventions are cool.
I’m going to be bold and say that I invented this. I’ve never heard of it before and I refuse to Google it in case I’m wrong (like I was with Cheez-It ™ Chicken and Muffaletta Pizza…grrr).
In case you weren’t aware.
I’m not even sure what the inspiration was. I feel like it just happened. All I know is, I just know that I love taco seasoning and I love bacon. Boom.
Tacoed Bacon Nachos
This beautiful little beast can be eaten by itself, served alongside (but never in…shame on you) a bloody mary, crumbled onto nachos (effing yum), in huevos rancheros, you name it. The possibilities are endless. And you can also reserve the bacon grease after cooking for use in all kinds of things. In fact, if you come up with something revolutionary, let me know. I’m always up for hearing how much I inspire you. >[8^)] (FYI, that’s a smiling robot emoticon…something I also invented. It amused me to create an emoticon for something that doesn’t have emotions. Boom.)
Sliced Bacon
Onion Powder
Garlic Powder
Red Pepper Flakes
Dried Chipotle Powder
Cumin
Ancho Chili Powder
Salt and Pepper
Tacoed Bacon before cooking
Combine seasoning ingredients in a small bowl or ramekin and mix with a spoon (fingers work nicely as well). Line a baking sheet with foil. Separate the bacon and place it on the foil. Coat the top side of the bacon strips with the seasoning mix. Be generous. This isn’t a time for moderation. The bacon may not be healthy, but the seasonings aren’t the enemy.
Place the baking sheet in an unheated oven. Turn the oven on to 400 degrees. The bacon will begin to cook as the temperature rises. Keep an eye on the bacon and remove it when it reaches the desired doneness. I tend to take mine out after about 10 minutes so it doesn’t get too crispy. Remember, if you plan to eat this with something else that will be cooked (like nachos, pizza, etc), don’t go too long. The bacon will cook a little more in that process.
Once it’s cooked, remove from baking sheet with tongs and let drain on a paper towel. Blot the top dry, but don’t rub off the seasonings. Reserve the tacoed bacon grease for other dishes.
Posted in burlesque, cooking, recipes, strippers
Tagged bacon, burlesque, cooking, franky vivid, homemade, michelle l'amour, nachos, recipe, recipes, stripper, strippers, taco seasoning, tacoed bacon
by Franky Vivid
The Chicago Flag – Franky Style
Especially during the Summer months. There really is no place I’d rather be this time of year save a few trips to the Vieux Carré. Dining al fresco. Flouncy skirts being attacked by lothario winds. Walking on Oak Street Beach. This city just oozes history, too. Sally Rand, Little Egypt, the 606 Club.
The 606 – where Chicago got it’s zipcodes
And I like being a part of that – creating it even. Playboy (R.I.P.) was founded here combining, among other things, beautifully unclad ladies and future literary giants. mL’ and I carry on that tradition with Naked Girls Reading, which recently hosted its first ever cooking event.
The Union STOCK yards, Chicago is…
They kindly asked me to cook a small plate for the crowd, which is the recipe that follows.
Chicago was my inspiration for it. For over a century, starting in 1865, Chicago was known as the “hog butcher to the world”. Union Stockyards opened that year and peaked around 1924 when more meat was processed in
The incomparable Miss Sally Rand
Chicago than any other city in the world. A comedian friend of mine, Adam Burke, likes to kid Chicago-based vegetarians saying there is no such thing. He contends that breathing Chicago air is the same as putting 147 years of meat into your lungs. Meat air. If only…
So, if you’re a vegetarian you can skip this one…even though I talked a pescetarian friend of mine into trying a smidge on Friday…
1 1/2 lbs sliced bacon
2 medium yellow onions
6 garlic cloves
1/2 cup cider vinegar
1/3 cup packed dark-brown sugar
1/4 cup pure maple syrup
3/4 cup brewed coffee
Cut bacon crosswise into 1-inch pieces. Dice onions into small pieces. Peel garlic cloves and “shmince” (smash them with the flat of a chef’s knife and then mince).
Cook bacon over medium/high heat in a large skillet, stirring occasionally, about 20 minutes or until the fat is rendered and the bacon is lightly browned. With a slotted spoon, transfer bacon to a stack of paper towels to drain and pour out all but 1 Tbsp of the bacon fat. Add onions and shminced garlic to the skillet and cook about 6 minutes. 
Onions should start to get “glassy” at this point. Add coffee, brown sugar, syrup and vinegar and bring to a rolling simmer for about 2 minutes. Stir often with a wooden spoon, making sure to scrape any bits off the bottom. Remove from heat and stir in bacon.
Put mixture in a slow cooker and cook on high, uncovered, for about 3 1/2 to 4 hours. When liquid is syrupy, transfer mixture to a blender and pulse until chopped to the desired consistency. Let mixture cool and refrigerate in airtight containers.
Posted in burlesque, cooking, recipes, strippers
Tagged bacon, burlesque, chicago, chicago flag, cooking, franky vivid, homemade, little egypt, meat, michelle l'amour, naked girls reading, pork, recipe, recipes, sally rand, stripper, strippers, union stockyards
