by Franky Vivid

“He’s not gonna pork her, Rusty.”

Clark Griswold has a habit of being wrong and this case is no different.  He – in this case me - did pork – in this case “prepared and served a delicious rosemary and thyme rubbed pork chop to” – her – in this case, my wife mL’.  There’s little I love more than porking my international superstar of a wife. She loves it too.  Asks, often begs, for it.  Juvenile, I know, but you’re the one still reading, aren’t you?

I’m only using this picture because it was the first result shown when I Google Image Searched “sparkly ass crack”.

Last night we decided to be grown-ups and have pork chops, mashed potatoes and green beans.  We took time off from our usual life of jet-setting to sit down like adults and have dinner.  Okay, it was almost 11pm as we ate in front of the TV watching Frazier, then went back to work producing the big Valentine’s Show (best line of the night, “I hope people appreciate the work I put into sparkling my ass crack!” – Michelle L’amour).

But it was a nice respite from all the craziness that’s been going on around here lately.  The last couple of weeks before a show can get kind of nuts.  You count yourself lucky if you have one good, square meal a day.  So we decided to make this one count.  A little rosemary, a little thyme and a scallion later and we had a tasty little meal that reminded us that we aren’t so far from normal after all.

Enjoy.

Pork Chop with Rustic Mashed Potatoes and Scallion Green Beans

2 pork chops
4 small yukon gold potatoes, cut into fourths (skin on)
2 Tbsp butter
1 cup sour cream
rosemary
thyme
salt & pepper
1 lb fresh green beans, ends trimmed
2 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 large shallot, chopped fine

Bring two medium pots of lightly salted water to a boil over high heat.  Add the potatoes to the first pot that boils, reduce heat to medium and cook until potatoes are “fork tender”.  In the meantime, add the green beans to the other pot and cook about 4 minutes.  They should be “crisp tender”.  Drain in a colander and rinse with very cold water until they are cool.  Pat dry with a paper towel.

Rub a mixture of rosemary, thyme, salt and pepper on one side of each pork chop.  I use a George Foreman Grill, you may cook the chops as you wish.  Loosely wrap cooked chops in tin foil and let them rest.  The juice will gather in the foil to be poured over them later.

When the potatoes are tender, drain them and put them immediately back in the empty pot.  Put the butter on top and let them release steam for two minutes.

Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat.  Cook the shallot, stirring occasionally until just golden.  This takes about 2 minutes.  Increase the heat to high and add the green beans.  Stirring occasionally, cook the beans about 4 minutes until they are heated through to your desired tenderness.  Season the beans with a little salt and pepper.

Add sour cream to potatoes and butter and mash until desired texture.  Since the potatoes are “skin on”, they will remain a bit lumpy.  We call this rustic.

Plate it all as shown and pork your lover.